Breaking the habit
BREAKING
THE HABIT
Mario
D’Couto
Aristotle once said that we are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence is not an act but a habit. In one of my previous articles called, “A
Christian Understanding of Virtue Ethics”https://insightsfromacommonman.blogspot.com/2013/09/a-christian-understanding-of-virtue.html , I mentioned that we become good
by doing good. It can be compared to mastering any skill like playing the
guitar, playing soccer, learning to dance, drawing and so on. Yet, most of us
in life, struggle with the fact of living out the life that we truly want. Year
after year, so many people make new year resolutions or sometimes they may say
things like, “I’m going to master this skill or I’m going to hit the gym and
lose weight” and so on. And yet, after the initial gusto, the drive to
change slowly begins to fade away and dies out eventually. And what’s the
common excuse? No time! Of course, there are many other excuses too but
whatever it is, an excuse is lame. If it’s really important to you, you’ll make
the time to do it. In this article, I would like to share a practical way of
dealing with this issue.
The first thing to be kept in mind is the old saying, “Old
habits die hard”. Sounds cliché but that’s the truth. Scientific studies
have proven that there is no magical formula to do away with one’s old habits.
The solution? Form new habits. There are 3 basic things when it comes to
habits, namely, the cue, the routine and the reward and the
success lies in dealing with the routine. When the current habits are
replaced with new ones, the old ones automatically go away.
To change a habit, we must keep the old cue, and deliver
the old reward but insert a new routine. If you use the same cue and provide
the same reward, you can shift the routine and change the habit. Almost any
behaviour can be transformed if the cue and reward stay the same. This is the
golden rule of habit change and it has influenced treatments of alcoholism,
obesity, obsessive – compulsive disorders and hundreds of other destructive
behaviours and understanding it can help anyone change their own habits. So,
for instance, attempts to give up snacking will often fail unless there’s a new
routine to satisfy old cues and reward urges. A smoker usually can’t quit
unless he/she finds some activity to replace cigarettes when his/her nicotine craving
is triggered.
Today, habit reversal therapy is used to treat verbal and
physical ties, depression, smoking, gambling problems, anxiety, bedwetting,
procrastination, obsessive – compulsive disorders and other behavioural
problems. And its techniques lay bare on of the fundamental principles of
habits: often, we don’t really understand the cravings during our behaviours
until we look for them. Nathan Azrin, one of the developers of habit reversal
training said, “It seems ridiculously simple, but once you’re aware
of how your habit work, once you recognize the cues and rewards, you’re half –
way to changing it. It seems like it should be more complex. The truth is, the
brain can be reprogrammed. You just have to be deliberate about it.” So
for instance, you want to stop smoking at work. Is the reward you’re seeking to
satisfy your hunger? Or is it to interrupt boredom? If you snack for a brief
release, you can easily find another routine – such as taking a quick walk or
giving yourself 3 minutes on the internet – that provides the same interruption
without adding to your waistline.
Or if you want to stop smoking, ask yourself, do you do
it because you love nicotine, or because it provides a burst of stimulation, a
structure to your day, a way to socialize? If you smoke because you need
stimulation, studies indicate that some caffeine in the afternoon can increase
the odds you’ll quit. More than 3 dozen studies of former smokers have found
that identifying the cues and regards they associate with cigarettes and thus
choosing new routine that provide similar payoffs – a piece of Nicorette, a
quick series of push – ups or simply taking a few minutes to stretch and relax
– makes it more likely they will quit.
If you identify the cues and rewards, you can change the
routine. This system was used by Bucaneers’ coach (in case if you did not know,
Bucaneers is a baseball team in the US), Tony Dungy, who believed that
champions don’t do extraordinary things but do ordinary things without thinking
too fast for the other team to react. They follow the habits they’ve learned.
And this was not about eradicating the old cues with sheer force or will power,
for as seen before, it cannot be put – off completely but rather replacing it
with something new. So it’s about changing the routine while keeping the cue
and the reward the same.
It’s interesting to note that initially, this approach by
Mr. Dungy was looked upon with a lot of scepticism and many wondered if it will
take the team to great heights. But while jeers from the hostile crowd of
50,000 would rain down upon him, he sees something that no one else does. He believes
his plan will work.
Dungy’s system would eventually turn the Bucaneers into
one of the league’s most victorious teams. He went on to become the only coach
in NFL history to reach the play – offs in 10 consecutive years, the first
African – American coach to win a Super Bowl and one of the most respected
figures in professional athletics. His coaching techniques would spread
throughout the league and all of sports. His approach would help illuminate how
to remake the habits in anyone’s life.
Yet, while the 3 elements of habit change are important,
namely, the cue, the routine and the reward, there is one more element that is
important without which change or transformation would be possible –
belief.
I would like to think of belief as that thing
which encapsulates the other three elements. It’s like an umbrella under which
the other three elements of cue, routine and reward fall under. Belief is the
ingredient that makes a reworked habit loop into a permanent behaviour, as one
person said, “Even if you give people better habits, it doesn’t repair why
they started drinking in the first place. Eventually they’ll all have a bad day
and no new routine is going to make everything seem okay. What can make a
difference is believing that they can cope with that stress without reverting
to their old pattern of behaviour.”
For this to be successful, one needs to have a support to
help instil and sustain that belief. Lee Ann Kaskutas, a senior scientist at
the Alcohol Research Group would put it this way, “At some point, people in
Alcoholics Anonymous look around the room and think, ‘if it worked for
that guy, I guess it can work for me.’ There’s something really powerful
about groups and shared experiences. People might be skeptical about their
ability to change if they’re by themselves but a group will convince them to
suspend disbelief. A community creates belief.”
For a habit to stay changed, people must believe that
change is possible and most often, that belief only emerges with the help of a
group. When I think about the reason for its importance, if a person has
already thought to himself/herself that change is not possible, he/she has
already lost the war before it even started. When one does that, he/she is
already putting up a brick wall where one cannot get past through it. Whereas to
believe that change is possible is like opening the doors to something new.
Of course, there is no doubt it’s not going to be easy.
But everything comes with a price. Just as a rocket that launches into space
has to overcome the initial friction, so is it the same when someone tries to
develop a new habit. In this regard, I would like to take a look at the human
mind. The human mind can be divided into 2 parts, namely, the conscious and
the sub – conscious. The conscious and the sub – conscious can be compared
to a captain and his crew on board a ship. In this case, it is the captain who
gives the order and his subordinates follow him without questioning. It is a
huge responsibility as one small mistake could prove fatal. It is therefore
necessary that the captain be sharp and focussed. In a similar way, the
conscious mind (the captain) is responsible for all the thoughts that go into
the subconscious (the crew/subordinates). So for instance, when you repeatedly
say to people, “I can’t afford it”, then your subconscious mind takes your word
for it and sees to it that you will not be in a position to purchase what you
want. As long as you persist in saying, “I can’t afford that car, that trip to
Europe, that house and so on,” you can rest assure that your subconscious mind
will follow your order and you will go through life experiencing the lack of
all things. This is just an example but it can be applied to all facets of
life.
Your subconscious mind works 24 hours a day and makes
provision for your benefit, pouring all the fruit of your habitual thinking
into your lap. It is like eating the right kind of food. If you want to stay
fit and healthy, you have to eat the right kind of food. If you eat the wrong
kind of food, you know what to expect. So tweak your thoughts and the thoughts
will shape you. However, this is only half the equation. As a Chinese proverb
goes, “If you want to make your dream a reality, wake up” and as
thoughts precede action, if there is no action that accompanies the thought,
the thought will remain nothing but a thought.
Alcoholics can stop drinking. Smokers can quit puffing.
Perennial losers can become champions. You can stop biting your nails or
snacking at work, yelling at your kids, staying up all night or worrying over
small concerns. While there is no fixed set formula for a habit change, the
main things to be kept in mind are the cue, the routine, the reward
and the belief, where belief encapsulates the other 3 parts, as seen
before. So while old habits cannot be eradicated completely, replace it with a
new habit or a routine. When that happens, your old habits will automatically
take a back seat. Attack the routine and believe it is possible and yes it is.
So for instance, if you want to quit smoking, figure out a different routine
that will satisfy the cravings filled by cigarettes. Then, find a support
group, a collection of former smokers, a community that will help you believe
you can stay away from nicotine and use that group when you feel you might
stumble.
Or if you want to lose weight, study your habits to
determine why you really leave your desk for a snack each day and then find
someone else to take a walk with you, or just to talk with at their desk rather
than in the cafeteria, a group that tracks weight – loss goals together, or
someone who also wants to keep a stock of apples rather than chips nearby.
The evidence is clear: if you want to change a habit, you
must find an alternative routine and your odds of success go up dramatically
when you commit to changing as part of a group. Belief is essential and it
grows out of a communal experience, even if that community is only as large as
2 people. Change is possible! Go for it!
