Adversity - When it's beyond your control

 

ADVERSITY – When it’s beyond your control  

Mario D’Couto 

            Sometimes there is that misconception that just because one believes in God that He (God) must miraculously take the problems out of our lives while some people can fall for the illusion that salvation would be a magic carpet ride to eternal bliss or we could also fall into the trap of expecting God to slay life’s dragons for us and keep us from all discord and discomfort. The truth is, serving God is not for the faint hearted.

            The peace that God offers is not without conflict. So if we come to God expecting a walk in the park, we may have come with our eyes wide shut. Expect turmoil, disruption, people to hate you, lies to be told, expect the unexpected and think it not strange when it comes as we find it written in the first letter of St. Peter, “Dearly beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come to you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Peter 4:12) or as Our Blessed Lord Himself said, “If the world hated you, know that it hated Me before it hated you.” (John 15:18)

 

           Believing in God does not mean that He will always show up in our lives, cast out every bad behaviour and spirit that is unlike Him and immediately change us into integral, contented believers who live His abundant life of promise. Butterflies won’t suddenly land on our hands and flowers won’t bloom in dark places. In fact, at first, nothing changes. Our lifestyle is still the same, our habits are still the same and our circumstances are the same. God promises to give us peace through our circumstances, our difficulties and our struggles, not inspite of them. Peace does not mean the absence of conflict. It is the ability to rest in God straight through it.

           One of the most effective weapons the enemy (the devil) uses against our minds is the suggestion that Christians, as children of God, should have carefree lives and anything other than that is not God’s will. We then shift our focus from fighting the good fight (Timothy 6:12) to avoiding one. Worst of all, sometimes he uses discouragement to cause us to sink further deep.

            We bite down hard on Satan’s lies and they keep us in bondage to fears and insecurities that feed addictions, depressions that trigger mental illness and broken relationships that threaten to affect our families for generations. The enemy takes it a notch up by using distractions, deceit and probably his most effective weapon (apart from discouragement) our ignorance to the fact that he ever exists. Certainly, the most formidable enemy is one we cannot see (2 Corinthians 4:4; 10:3-5).

 

      Unfortunately, the ‘prosperity gospel’ which sadly is still preached in some circles today seems to be giving this idea – that if we believe and give our lives to God, everything will be given to us and all our problems will cease. In fact, sometimes Psalm 1:3, where it is written, “He shall be like a tree planted by the river that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper” can be misinterpreted, to indicate that because one follows God, therefore one can become rich, prosperous and wealthy which obviously isn’t the case, for as seen previously, following God does not magically take away our problems. In fact, if we were to approach God with this kind of attitude, we would be making a big mistake because then we would be treating Him like a ‘vending machine’ and sadly, many people turn to God only when they need something. At other moments, He is forgotten. The question is, do we live and worship God for Who He is rather than what He can do for us? Leslie Haskin in her book, “When life does not make sense” explains it in the following way, “I’m not sure where the idea that being a Christian guarantees worldly bliss and prosperity came from but I wish I could send it back in a blaze of fire and brimstone so the entire world could witness its demise.

            Of all the distorted teachings with Christianity today, this so – called prosperity gospel and some teachings around the Kingdom of God are probably the most detrimental to the life – blood of believers. And with some well – known evangelists and pastors holding their lives up as evidence of success, people now equate God’s blessings with material things. They’re out of balance and biting down hard on doctrine that is only as deep as our pockets, believing that the blood of Jesus paid the price for our happiness. This quest for happiness, not Jesus, is so pervasive that Christendom is now seen by many as having only this end in view: God exists to please humankind and the goal of faith is for humankind’s benefit.”

            There is no spiritual value here whatsoever. It simply leads people into despair and even apostasy. God’s will for our lives is not for our continual comfort. God’s will for us is His eternal salvation and that His divine purpose be completed in us by any means necessary, even if it means a lack when it comes to material things. The same author (Leslie Haskins) goes on to explain, “God forgives us because I think we still believe the lie that was believed in the garden: that God is withholding good things from us. Despite His faithfulness to us through the generations and despite the promises of eternity, despite who He is in His divine nature, we still hold on to the thought that perhaps there is something out there that is bigger than God and we have a right to it.” In this regard, there are so many celebrities who have sold their souls to the enemy, all for a short term goal. It’s basically an act of pride which is like indirectly telling God, “If you cannot do it for me, I will do it my way” and when we seek our own path, we would be digging our own graves.

            The irony is that Our Blessed Lord never promised a life of ease and comfort. On the contrary, He tells us to take up our crosses and follow Him (Matthew 16:24). The prosperity gospel is basically reducing God to a means to an end. It kind of reminds me of how the enemy tempted Our Blessed Lord in the wilderness, promising favours only if He would bow down and worship him.

 

         The example of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego (Daniel 3 – 4) gives us an example of what it means to truly worship the Lord for Who He is. Their love for God was fresh and committed, so much so that they refused to compromise and serve the gods of Babylon. Before being thrown into the fiery furnace as punishment, the King gave them one last chance to change their minds but they declared, “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us …. But even if He does not, we want you to know, your majesty, that we will not serve your gods” (Daniel 3: 7 – 18). They were willing to give their lives for the love of God and they were willing to accept God’s will for them no matter what it was.

            What amazing love and commitment, to be in a place within ourselves where we can affirm that even if God does not meet our expectations even if He does not grant our happiness, even if He does not prosper us materially, we won’t compromise our beliefs to a false doctrine or worship according to the ‘come and get it’ gospel. It honours God when we love Him with all our hearts and souls and minds not because of what He has done for us or what He gives us but because of Who He is. God must always be sought for Himself alone, never as a means towards something else.

            Does this mean that God will never bless us with good things or that He is some kind of sadistic tyrant?  Absolutely not! The sad truth is that there are people who would like to think that way. For example, Karl Marx taught that religion is the opium of the people like as though it was kind of ‘sedative’ used to tranquilize people whenever they went through suffering whether it was physical, emotional or spiritual.

            The fact of the matter is that God will bless us but maybe not in a way we would expect as Robert Schuller once wrote, “God does not give us what we want but what we need”. If He feels it is right for us, He will give it, if not wait and continue living in the way that you ought to live, trusting in God’s providence. In this regard, I am reminded of what Bishop Robert Barron quoted about what St. Thomas Aquinas had to say on why the wicked prosper while the good suffer. This is what he said: when the wicked prosper, their minds are so immersed in their material well – being that they are far away from the bliss and the joy that comes from God, a bliss and joy that no human comprehension can describe, a bliss and a joy that surpasses all human understanding. So while the righteous and good suffer, their joy and satisfaction is complete in the Lord.

            In this regard, I am also reminded of what St. Padre Pio said, “Pray, hope and don’t worry.” When he was banned from celebrating the Eucharist publicly and hearing confessions by the Holy See because of the stigmata he received and the miracles surrounding him, he obeyed. He did not retort or fight back although eventually the ban was removed and he was once again able to administer the sacraments publicly. He once said, “Without obedience, there is no virtue” or consider what St. Faustina wrote what our Blessed Lord told her, “The devil can imitate humility but he cannot imitate obedience.” Sometimes I think that when we start cribbing or grumble about when we suffer unjustly, we may be no better than the spoilt brat throwing tantrums when he/she does not have his/her way. Maturity is, indeed, knowing how to live with the tension and pressure. Our Blessed Lord shows us the way by His own example when he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, “Father, let this cup of suffering pass away from Me; yet not My will but Your will be done” (Matthew 26:39). Even the saints and Our Blessed Mother displayed it to a great degree which brings me to the point that the saints, while no doubt lived very holy lives, were never vain or proud of it but rather seen it as a blessing from God who gave them the strength to persevere. It is because they were able to realize their need for God that they became who they are.

            Some people may want to retort saying that if God really is in control, why doesn’t He stop suffering? If He can and doesn’t He is a monster. If He can’t, He isn’t an omnipotent God who can save us. To answer this, we should learn to differentiate control with God’s sovereignty. The problem comes in when we mix up God’s sovereignty with His control. The word sovereignty is defined as independent power. But in early Hebrew teaching, sovereignty had no definition. It just referred to God’s identity. The word used to describe this was ‘Aleph’ which expresses the free-will act of God whereby He, according to His supreme authority and will, created human beings distinct from Him and yet still dependent on Him. Free will is an attribute God has given to His reasoning creation.

     Now the angels were also beings created by God and were endowed with free-will but unlike humans, they were more intelligible beings and were fully aware of the consequences of their actions. Lucifer, who was an angel of light before the fall, corrupted the power given to him by God by rebelling against Him and that’s where evil came into existence. So while evil was not caused by God, evil can be understood as the absence of good. This also implies that while nothing can be good without God, no evil can exist without Him either, because unless God, Who is omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient, sanctions or grants permission, the enemy cannot do anything. This is evident from the story of Job from the Bible.

            So if we were to ask the question, ‘Why children suffer?’ the answer is we aren’t taking care of them or when we ask, ‘Why is there so much poverty in the world?’ it’s because we are selfish and don’t share our wealth. When we wonder why life is so out of control, it’s because we are. And while not everything happens in the world exactly the way God desires, nothing happens without His acquiescence.

            While God is no doubt the source of everything that exists, He has set a system in place which are governed by different laws and rules. Our job is to learn about them and implement them in our lives. There is a story told by Rabbi Daniel Lapin about a very saintly man who thought that because of his sanctity God should protect Him if he were to jump off a cliff for which he did (and died obviously) and when he gets to heaven, he is sulking and grumbling against God, asking Him why He did not protect him given the saintly life that he lived, to which God tells him that no matter how saintly he was, there are rules and laws (in this case, gravity) that He has set in place which we are expected to learn and follow.

            Sometimes God permits the sadness and the pains of life to press open us the consequences of sin and sometimes we’ll even live the consequences of someone else’s sin or recklessness. But on the flip side, pain can actually be something good, in the sense that it can be an indicator that something is not right and something needs to be done about it. If we were not able to feel pain, we would actually be dying a slow death, either physically or spiritually (which could also include emotionally) or both. That’s why leprosy can be terrible but fortunately there is a cure to that as well.

 

           We can take consolation in the words of St. Paul who wrote to the Romans, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). God is still our Redeemer. He still meets us in every situation at the pace of our need, hears the cries of our bleeding hearts flying at Him and bears with us when we act with misdirected anger and pride, stamping our feet and shaking our fists at Him, questioning His control. He still listens even when we deny His love and challenge His existence. By an act of His own will, He loves us with an undying love. And in His sovereignty and in His control, He causes the best of things and even the worst of things to weave together for our good (Romans 8:28) and eternal life with Him. That is His promise. That is His word.

            God does not observe our lives from the side-lines neither is He a watchmaker who has wounded up the world and watching from afar, waiting to run its course. He can draw good even when tragedy strikes us or He can turn things around. However, it is important to keep in mind that if we expect God to work things like a magician, we are mistaken. Most often it’s evolutionary, not revolutionary. This is not to say that He cannot turn things around immediately but rather His timing is what matters. Sometimes God does not give us what we ask for because we are not ready for it. It could happen that we may be asking for something which we think is good for us but God sees the bigger picture and as a loving Father, keeping in mind our best interest, somethings which we ask for could take time or it may not happen at all. In such cases, we need to do our part and put in the effort. God will bless our efforts but to simply throw our hands in the air and expect Him to do everything would be asking for trouble. In fact, it’s not healthy because by doing so, we are not harnessing the gifts and abilities that God has bestowed on us for He does not create junk. Our efforts can seem like many zeros strung together which can seem pretty insignificant as they basically add up to nothing. But then, when we least expect it, God adds a one in front of our countless zeros, making our pitiful efforts more valuable than we can imagine.

            Sometimes the silence of God can also be a bit annoying to some in the sense that some people grumble that they are praying and praying but no answer. Robert Schuller in his book, “Believe in the God who believes in you” writes about the experience of his own father who was a very silent man. He was so silent that even his mother would get upset waiting when his father would speak. Yet, when he passed away, she always missed him. One day he asked his mother, ‘Dad never said anything and now that he is no more with us, how can you miss him so much?’ to which she replied, ‘Oh, even when he was silent, I always knew he was there’. The same can be said about God.

            We may not be aware of God’s presence and if we are aware of it, we may not acknowledge it or just take it for granted. Nevertheless, He is there – believing in us. He is like the air. We are so accustomed to breathing that we forget how dependent we are on the air until we are in danger of losing it. God is in our corner, encouraging us in silent, subtle ways. Perhaps, one reason why some people struggle with their faith, as explained by Fr. Ronald Rolheiser, O.M.I, in his book, “Wrestling with God” is because God’s presence in us and in our world is rarely dramatic, overwhelming, sensational, something impossible to ignore. God doesn’t work like that. Rather God’s presence, much to our frustration and loss of patience is something that lies quiet and seemingly helpless inside us. It rarely makes a huge splash.

 

           Our Blessed Lord Himself was born, if we could say in obscurity. He was born into our world with no fanfare and no power, a Baby lying helpless in straw, another Child among millions. Nothing spectacular to human eyes surrounded His birth. During His ministry, He never performed miracles to prove His divinity but only as acts of compassion or to reveal something about God. Jesus never used His diving power in an attempt to prove that God exists beyond doubt. His ministry, like His birth wasn’t an attempt to prove God’s existence. It was rather intended to teach us who God is and that God loves us unconditionally.

            Jesus’ teaching about God’s presence in our lives also makes clear that His presence is most quite and hidden, a plant growing silently as we sleep, yeast leavening dough in a manner hidden from our eyes, summer slowly turning a barren tree green, an insignificant mustard plant eventually surprising us with its growth. God, it seems works in ways that are quite and hidden from our eyes. The God that Our Blessed Lord incarnates is neither dramatic nor splashy.

          What does this mean or imply? Simply put, God lies inside us, deep inside, but in a way that’s almost non – existent, almost unfelt, largely unnoticed and easily ignored. However, while that presence is never over – powering, it has within it, a gentle unremitting imperative, a compulsion toward something higher, which invites us to draw upon it. And if we do draw upon it, it gushes up in us in an infinite stream that instructs us, nurtures us and fills us with endless energy. Two examples that come to my mind are C.S. Lewis and Ruth Burrows, a British Carmelite mystic, both of whom practically lived a major portion of their lives on their own terms until finally, they paid heed to the inner voice inside of them, the voice of God, which brought about their ultimate liberation and clarity in their vision of life as St. Augustine once said, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in You.”

            To add to that, if we do not have genuine peace from within, nothing externally can fill that void. We can have everything and we would still be looking for the next big thing to satiate our appetites be it in the form of money, popularity, relationships and so on. Perhaps we could ask the question, ‘Why doesn’t God show Himself to us more directly and more powerfully to make faith easier?’ Fr. Rolheiser tells us that unlike everything else that is trying to get our attention, God, more than anything or anyone else, respects our freedom which is why Bishop Fulton Sheen would say that our freedom is perhaps the only true gift that we can make to God (which we call ‘surrendering our will’) because everything else can be taken away by Him. For this reason, God lies everywhere, inside us and around us, almost unfelt, largely unnoticed and easily ignored, a quiet, gentle nudge but if drawn upon, the ultimate stream of love and energy springs forth.

            Also, as humans who quite often look for sensationalism or the next big thing, if God were to reveal Himself in a dramatic way, we would perhaps fall into the danger of treating God as a means to an end rather than the End (Revelation 22:13) itself. We would be treating God like a ‘vending machine’ (something which we had seen earlier). We ought to love God for Who He is and not so much about what He can do for us.

            This can also be seen in the writings of St. John of the Cross as seen in the “Dark night of the soul” which focuses on the purification of one’s faith. To explain it very briefly, in the journey of one’s spiritual life, God sometimes allows or gives us spiritual consolation in the early stages but to wield us out of it, so as not to get ‘hooked’ onto only the consolation, He sometimes makes His absence felt. All the great mystics went through it, St. John of the Cross, Julian of Norwich, St. Teresa of Calcutta and others. While this may seem like a loss, on the flip side, it is actually a spiritual gain as German theologian Jurgen Moltmann explains in his book, “The Crucified God”, quoting the words of another German theologian, Hans Joachim Iwand, “Our faith begins at the point where atheists suppose that it must be at an end. Our faith begins with bleakness and power which is the night of the cross, the abandonment, the temptation and the doubt about everything that exists! Our faith must be born where it is abandoned by all tangible reality, it must be born of nothingness, it must taste this nothingness and be given it to taste in a way that no philosophy of nihilism can imagine.” It is in our weakness, our desperation, our abandonment, our loneliness and in our pain that a mature understanding of who God is develops.

            Another benefit of the dark night of the soul is that it purifies us from our pride, our arrogance and our ego – centredness, making us more humble, empathetic and forgiving. Like Peter who begins to walk on water, on being asked by Our Blessed Lord to go towards Him (Matthew 14:22-36; Mark 6:45-56; John 6: 16-24), as long as he (Peter) kept his eyes on our Blessed Lord, he kept moving forward. The moment he took his eyes off Him, he began to sink. Likewise, as long as we keep our eyes on our Blessed Lord, we keep moving forward. The moment we take our eyes off Him and look to our own strengths or get lost in the confusion of this world, we forget that ultimately, God is in control and fall further into more trouble.

 

           In classical Christian mysticism (as found in the writings of St. John of the Cross, St. Teresa of Avila and others), there is something known as ‘being bold with God’. What does this mean? Rabbi Abraham Heschel, one of the leading Jewish philosophers and theologians of the 20^th century explains that from Abraham through Jesus, we see how the great figures of our faith are not in the habit of easily saying ‘Thy will be done!’ but often, for a while at least, counter God’s invitation with ‘Thy will be changed!’ This is what ‘being bold with God’ is all about.

            This ‘boldness’ comes not at the beginning of the spiritual journey but more toward the end of it, when after a long period of fidelity, we are intimate with God to precisely be ‘bold’, as friends who have known each other for a long time and have a right to be. This is indeed a valuable insight since after you have been friends with someone for a long time, you can be comfortable with expressing your needs to him or her in the context of a long, sustained relationship. Understanding reverence is not necessarily a sign of mature intimacy.

            Old friends, precisely, because they know and trust each other, can risk a boldness in their friendship that those in a younger, less mature friendship avoid expressing. It is the same in our relationship with God. God expects that at some point, we will kick against His will and offer some resistance. But we should lay out our hearts in honesty which our Blessed Lord did.

            We also see this in the prayers of the great figures of scripture such as Abraham, Moses and the Apostles besides our Blessed Lord. Abraham argues with God and initially talks him out of destroying Sodom; Moses at first resists His call, protesting that his brother is better suited for the job; the apostles excuse themselves for a long time before finally putting their lives on the line and our Blessed Lord gives Himself over in the Garden of Gethsemane only after first begging His Father for a reprieve.     This is what is called ‘wrestling with God’ which invites us to a different kind of prayer, a prayer that isn’t a simple acquiescence to God’s will but rather a mature acquiescence that comes at the end of a long struggle.

            Suffering, like rain, falls impartially on saints, common people and delinquents. It does not spare anyone. If the Creator allows it, it is because it is a school with many different levels in view of the Primary Objective – which is Himself.

            Problems and difficulties can have different effects on people as does heat which make butter sour and apples sweet. Many think prayer can help us find a good job, win a lottery, not get on plane that will crash, a soulmate or whatever that may be. While these are valid and God can bless us with such things, it’s important to keep in mind that prayer is not some magic tool that is going to take away the suffering and pain that we may experience of may be facing, or magically bring things on our plate.

            I would like to think of suffering and pain as moments when God instructs or even admonishes us not as a tyrant or a task master but as a loving parent helping us become the best version of ourselves. Fr. Giovanni Martinetti S.J. puts it in context which we find in his book, “Reasons to believe today in Christ”, “An intelligence would not have created us without a reason nor would the intelligence who gave us a thirst for justice and love have left us without adequate means to attain our supreme goal. It is therefore logical to think that even if a person is subject to chance and misfortune, God’s intelligence granted us oriented forces allowing us to overcome difficulties and to draw advantages in order to reach a meaningful result.” The question is what are we doing with what we have?

      The fact of the matter is that God is in control and whatever happens does not happen without His consent. Two examples that come to mind is the story of Joseph in the Old Testament where despite the various difficult experiences that he had to face, right from being sold by his own brothers as a slave to being imprisoned for something he was totally innocent of, God used all those things to bring about a greater good.  

           Another powerful story is that of Samson. Blessed with superhuman strength, it seems as though Samson was full of himself until he was finally blinded by the Philistines which made him turn to God through which God once again brought about good from tragedy. So while a person like Karl Marx would think of religion (particularly Christianity) as the ‘opium of the people’ as a means to justify the pain and suffering of humanity, I think to endorse or support such a view would be a huge mistake.

            In Biblical times, people who feared God lived in the light. They fasted for weeks at a time and lived with praise and wonder of the God who formed the universe and everything that exists by His word. Miracles were commonplace; life was about God and the connectedness of their lives to Him. The ordinary was illumined by the extraordinary nature of God, making life a conscious, supernatural experience. Their ‘every day’ included thunderous voices resonating from heaven, a burning bush that was not consumed, water flowing from the rock, seas divided and rivers flowing with blood and so on. There was no ambiguity about who God was – the Alpha, the Omega, the great I AM. Truth indeed was the light and it resulted in freedom, deliverance and victory only. But from our modern perspective and by today’s standards, their lives were anything but ordinary. Their commonplace is our supernatural and curiously enough, even though modern living has redefined our relationship with God, most of us want and strive for what they had. Though our desire may to be walk in the light, there is a huge gap between what we expect our lives to be and the lives we find struggling with.

            Our requests of God have become our demands of God and so our prayers go unanswered. Consequently, our appreciation for the true nature of God has made small His wonder and we no longer stand in awe of Him. The English scientist Aldous Huxley once said, “There was a time when I gazed upon the stars with great wonder and amazement. Now, late in life, I look up at the heavens in the same way in which I gaze upon the faded wallpaper in a railway station waiting room.” Could it be that this is how we look at God? Could it be that modern society and technological advances have turned what once was astonishment over the universe into mere humdrum?

 

           Our world is so ‘smart’ that the wonder of God is brought down to the point that it can be explained away for another single word: demystification. With the simple click of a mouse (or any other device such as the mobile, ipad etc.) we have lost the sheer delight and awareness of an all – powerful God which is forgotten in light of humankind’s capabilities – physical and mental – through the use of technology.

 

           We can extend our brain with computers, our legs with automobiles and airplanes, our eyes with microscopes and telescopes and even ourselves with the advent of cloning.

           As knowledge increases, so does agnosticism. The result is a world that is flat and without miracles – predictable, explainable. But the increase of knowledge increases our need to live beyond the ordinary and consequently, life doesn’t make sense anymore. Consider the following analogy, if you take a computer apart to see how it works, the first thing you have to do is to disconnect it from its power source. Once disconnected, the first thing you have on your hands is a non – working computer. The second thing you have is a pile of complicated parts that don’t work anymore. The third thing you have is a mess that you can’t possibly put back together to its maker’s specifications and intent because you have no prior understanding of the original design.

            Life is like that – complex beyond our vision and comprehensive, so much so that the human ‘self’ must be accepted as a mystery known only to God and life should be accepted as a gift from Him as well, incapable of being understood by mere mortals. Think about it, if God created life and that includes us, do we really think our brain is equally matched to His so that we can understand all of it?

           There is nothing wrong with our quest for knowledge. In fact, it is natural to crave understanding and then grow in that understanding (Proverbs 4:7). But there is a thin line between the quest for knowledge and the quest for ‘god-dom’ which is more than the desire to know, it is a desire to know what only God knows. This a prideful self – interest that draws the mind up to something higher, purer and loftier than it is capable of and if we may add, it was this kind of desire that disconnected us from the power source and which complicated human life in the first place.

 

           Albert Einstein would put it the following way, “We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many languages. The child knows someone must have written these books. It does not know how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. The child dimly suspects a mysterious order in the arrangements of the books but doesn’t know what it is. That, it seems to me is the attitude of the most intelligent human being towards God. We see the universe marvelously arranged and obeying certain laws but only dimly understand the laws. Our limited minds grasp the mysterious force that moves the constellations.” The word ‘littleness’ always implies something small. Bishop Fulton Sheen gives a nice illustration about ‘littleness’ in his book, “Life is worth living”, wherein he explains that if we always thought no end of ourselves, we would have no space or time to consider what is beyond us. ‘Littleness’ is always associated with simplicity or childlikeness. There is a difference between being childlike and childish. To be childish means to be spoilt. Being childish involves having no control over impulses. Being childlike on the other hand involves a sense of genuine openness. It is for this reason that children are like sponge. Just as a sponge absorbs water immediately, children are innocent and therefore they receive anything with open hands. It is therefore not uncommon to find children pestering their parents asking them ‘What is this?’ and ‘What is that?’ unlike adults who sometimes think that they know all that there is to know.

            Bishop Sheen also goes on to explain that the discovery of truth requires docility or teachableness. He who thinks he knows it all is unteachable. He gives the example of the scientist who sits calmly and passively before nature, just sitting and looking at it waiting for it to tell him its laws. He does not say, ‘I know the laws of nature and I am going to impose my laws on nature’, but rather he waits upon the revelation of nature. The humility of the scientist before nature ought to be the attitude of man before God awaiting His holy will. Faith comes from hearing which also means it comes from being a good listener or not thinking that one has all the truth within himself.

            Another important aspect of humility that Bishop Sheen explains is that humility is not servility. It is not a readiness to be walked on, not a hatred of self, not psychological self – contempt, not a desire to be placed at a disadvantage. Humility is the virtue that tells us the truth about ourselves, that is, how we stand, not in the eyes of people but before God.

            You would have probably noticed that this post/reflection is primarily focused on the presence of God in our lives as compared to the previous two posts/reflection, where this section (among the three posts on the topic of adversity) kind of wraps up the point that I am trying to make [if in case you have not read the previous two posts/reflections, here they are, ‘Adversity – Putting the problem in perspective’, https://insightsfromacommonman.blogspot.com/2021/11/adversity-putting-problem-in-perspective.html and ‘Adversity – Dealing with it’,https://insightsfromacommonman.blogspot.com/2021/11/adversity-dealing-with-it.html] and the reason why I am writing this at length is because ultimately, when everything is gone, when all our options have been exhausted, what then do we do? The ongoing crisis of the pandemic has only highlighted the fact about how uncertain life can be and while we may seek other venues to do away with the pain that we may have gone through, if not dealt with appropriately it could resurface once again or could even lead to other fatal consequences like suicidal tendencies, depression and so on.

     We realize if there is a war but do not appreciate its absence in times of peace. If we are healthy, we rarely think about being sick. If we thought more frequently about absence, we might well be happier but it is tough mental work. The question that comes up is, ‘Why does something and not nothing exist?’ One may or may not arrive at an answer but the question itself represents a useful instrument in combating the feature – positive effect. The feature – positive effect is that which refers to what exists means a lot more than what is missing. This is something worth keeping in mind when we feel we have it all figured out only to later realize that there are many things that are not within our control. Besides that, if we truly understand the implications of the feature – positive effect, it also helps us to appreciate the things that we often take for granted, as a famous quote goes, “I cried because I had no shoes until I seen a man who had no feet.”

            Given the fact that there are many things in life that are not within our control, it can seem pretty grim or worse, even frightening but as Bruce Lee once said in one of his famous quotes on the ‘Art of dying’, I think it is something worth keeping in mind which goes thus, “Like everyone else, you want to learn the way to win but never to accept the way to lose. To accept defeat, to learn to die is to be liberated from it. So when tomorrow comes, you must free your ambitious mind and learn the art of dying.” This is not to say that we should stop doing our bit and throw our hands in the air, letting things take its course but rather it is about focusing on what is within our control and giving our best to it.

            Ryan Holiday gives us some good advice in regard to this in his book, “The Obstacle is the Way”, “Perceptions can be managed. Actions can be directed. We can always think clearly, respond creatively. Look for opportunity, seize the initiative.

            What we can’t do is control the world around us – not as much as we’d like to anyway. We might perceive things well, then act rightly and fail anyway.

            Run it through your head like this: Nothing can ever prevent us from trying. Ever!

            All creativity and dedication aside, after we’ve tried, some obstacles may be impossible to overcome: some actions are rendered impossible, some paths impassable. Some things are bigger than us.

            This is not necessarily a bad thing. Because we can turn that obstacle upside down too simply by using it as an opportunity to practice some other virtue or skill – even if it is just learning to accept that bad things happen or practice humility.

            It’s an infinitely elastic formula: in every situation, that which blocks our path actually presents a new path with a new part of us. If someone you love hurts you, there is a chance to practice forgiveness. If your business fails, you have the opportunity to practice acceptance. If there is nothing else, at least you can try to help others.

‘Problems,’ Duke Ellington once said, ‘are a chance for us to do our best’, just our best, that’s it! Not the impossible! We must be willing to roll the dice and lose, preparing, at the end of the day, for none of it to work.

Anyone in pursuit of a goal comes face – to – face with it time and time again. Sometimes, no amount of planning, no amount of thinking – no matter how hard we try or patiently persist will change the fact that some things just aren’t going to work. The world could use fewer martyrs.

We have it within us to be the type of people who try to get things done, try with everything we’ve got and whatever verdict comes in, are ready to accept it instantly and move on to whatever is next. Is that you? Because it can be.”

            Lin Yutang writes on similar lines in his widely read book, “The importance of living”, “True peace of mind comes from accepting the worst. Psychologically I think, it means a release of energy” or consider what Richard Carlson wrote in his book, “Don’t get scrooged”, “Acceptance may sound like inaction but when you try to practice it you’ll see that it is anything but doing nothing. It sometimes requires more effort than the complaining, confronting or clamming up which you would normally do. But ….. once you experience the freedom it brings – acceptance can become almost second nature.”

There’s a proverb that goes thus, “You can tell the worth of a man by what he can do without”. More money, more problems and more stuff, less freedom. This is not to say that money is the root of all evil as some people would like to think that way. Rather wealth, money and power only highlight what’s within a person. John Boyd, a sort of warrior – monk who revolutionized Western Military strategy in the latter half of the 20^th century, refused to take checks from defense contractors and deliberately lived in a small condo (flat) even as he advised presidents and generals. He once said, “If a person can reduce his needs to zero, he is truly free: there is nothing that can be taken from him and nothing anyone can do to hurt him.”

Monks and priests take the vow of poverty because it will mean fewer distractions and more room (literally) for the spiritual pursuit to which they have committed. No one is saying that we have to go that far but the point is that the more we own, the more our minds would have to take care of and consequently, the less room we have to think clearly especially when faced with adversity or a crisis.

The best car is not the one that turns the most heads but the one where we have to worry the least. The best clothes are the ones that are the most comfortable, that require us to spend the least amount of time shopping – regardless of what the magazines say. The best house is the one that feels the most like home.

        The family who never see each other because both parents are working late to pay off extra bedrooms they never use? The fame that keeps someone on the road so much to the extent that they are strangers to their kids? This is not a rich life. There is no peace in this. It would therefore be foolish to use one’s money to purchase loneliness, headaches or status anxiety which unfortunately, seems to have become the ‘price’ we have to pay in order to achieve our goals given the fast paced lives that we live in which perhaps in the long run may actually not be beneficial. Hence evaluating one’s self from time to time, your goals and where you are at in your life is helpful.

We were born free – free from stuff, free from burden. But ever since our tiny bodies have been measured for clothes, people have been foisting stuff upon us and we have been adding links to the pile of chains ourselves ever since. We definitely need the basic and essential things of life to live a decent life but to make that the center of our lives, our priority, like as if we existed only to live for that, that’s unhealthy. A rich person need not necessarily be attached to wealth while a poor person can be overtly attached to wealth, his name and so on. In other words, the one who is detached is the one who is truly free and is the one who can think clearly even in the midst of a crisis or adversity.

Thus to revert to Bruce Lee’s idea about ‘the art of dying’, he was a man who was constantly practicing this idea of ‘dying’ because to him it meant returning to the beginner’s mind and neutrality. He even had an art piece tombstone created which stated, “In memory of a once fluid man crammed and distorted by the classical mess.” This served as a physical reminder to him to let go of anything that kept him rigid or limited his growth. ‘Dying’ in this instance therefore is more about living in the moment and being able to continue to be the student and learn. Even from an existential standpoint, when we close our eyes and pass on, there is nothing, literally nothing we can take with us to our grave.

        One of the reasons that motivated me to come up with this three-part post/reflection about adversity is what I have been through over the past two years, with the loss of my grandma about two years back and with the loss of my dad last year, life has not been the same. But I know that I have two choices, either I allow it to overwhelm me or I can focus on what’s within my control and do the best I can, trusting in God’s providence. There are some who may find it difficult to acknowledge that God exists or may even have a faith crisis because of the tragedy that may have fallen on them and without downplaying the intensity of the pain that they have gone through, I firmly believe that God is there and will take care. No doubt we may have to struggle but He will certainly not abandon us and He will help us find a way but the effort needs to be put from our end. This is something that I am truly convinced of.

            If in case, there is the slightest doubt if this is really possible, let’s assume for a moment that we are the products of evolution and randomness, are we not subjected to the laws of gravity and physics which in a sense, we could ask as to are we not already accepting a higher, inexplicable power indirectly? Besides life would not make sense without an origin and an end. We all came from somewhere and we are going somewhere. If you think such an assertion is bogus and does not mean anything, just look at your own body. It’s perhaps a masterpiece in its own right. We don't have to make or put an extra effort to make our organs function and yet all the parts of our body function smoothly. However every breath that we take is no guarantee. Or think about the planets in the solar system. How are they perfectly positioned in such a way that they do not collide with one another. Can all these be matter of a chance? It would be hard to imagine otherwise. These are a few examples that point to an all-powerful and all loving God [for more information regarding this, check out my other blogpost/reflection ‘The uniqueness of Christianity’,https://insightsfromacommonman.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-uniqueness-of-christianity.html]. He is truly our ultimate hope and as we see in the dialogue between the task master and Charlton Heston in the movie “Ben Hur” (when Heston is taken captive), the task master says, “Hope is what keeps a man alive. It gives Him strength”, I think it is true indeed for people who score higher in hope are able to score higher in satisfaction, self – esteem, optimism, meaning in life and happiness. They are able to cope better with injuries, diseases and physical pain; excel in academics from elementary to graduate school, perform better in sports or just about anything else whether it is in business, relationships, work and so on. What is even more compelling is that people who were hopeful, even though not naturally gifted, were able to survive the storm and get past through it.

        To conclude with the words of C.S.Lewis who once said, “We believe that the sun is in the sky at midday in summer not because we can clearly see the sun (in fact we cannot), but because we can see everything else,” communicating with God is like that. We cannot see the light but in and through the light we see everything else, which is why without Him, everything else is darkness. Nothing can be further from the truth. If you have reached this far and are still reading, trust me, I have only scratched the surface. This is only the tip of the iceberg and the reason precisely being that life is far too vast and complex to reduce it to a mere simplistic solution such as 2 + 2 = 4. However these are some things that I have learned and have tried to implement to the best of my ability which have indeed helped me cope with my own crosses and I do hope that it may help you in your own journey. So in as much you journey along the path that God has called you, wherever you are right now, whichever path you have chosen or at whatever stage of life you may find yourself in, consider me a fellow pilgrim/traveller in this journey of life, trying to understand God’s will for our lives. As we begin this new year, my prayer and wish for us is that through His grace, we become more hopeful, more resilient and more resourceful despite the challenges and obstacles that life may bring us along the way. With that being said, I wish you, your family and all your near and dear ones a happy and blessed new year. God bless!