Why suffer?

 

WHY SUFFER?

Mario D’Couto 

God doesn’t just give the hardest battles to His toughest soldiers but He also creates the toughest soldiers out of life’s hardest battles. 

            There is a joke that goes thus, “Many people want to go to heaven but nobody wants to die”. While death is often understood as no life, death can also be understood in dying to ourselves, our egos, our anger or whatever that it may be that we would like to get rid of. In his book, “Life of Christ”, Bishop Fulton Sheen tells us that there are two kinds of philosophies of life,

Ø  First the feast then the hangover

Ø  First the fast then the feast

            Deferred joys purchased by sacrifices are always the sweetest and most enduring. Christianity begins not with sunshine but with defeat. Sunshine religions that begin with psychic elation end often in disillusionment and despair.

            Unless there is a Good Friday in our lives, there will never be an Easter Sunday. The seed must fall to the ground and die before it springs forth to new life. The Cross is the condition of the empty tomb and the crown of thorns is the preface to the halo of light. Unfortunately today, we are living in a ‘quick-fix’ culture and somehow it seems as though the meaning of sin has been lost. It seems as though the only sin that modern man admits is social sin committed by the State, Governments or Capitalists. If he does wrong personally, he is ‘sick’ (in a negative abnormal way) but he is not a sinner. What is forgotten is that sin is not the worst thing in the world. The worst thing is the denial of sin. If I am blind and deny there is any such thing as sight, I would never be able to see. If I am deaf and deny sound, I would never be able to hear or if I am not feeling well but deny that it or that I don’t need any treatment, no cure is possible. Likewise, if I deny there is sin, I make forgiveness impossible.

            If we leave the Cross out of the Life of Christ, we have nothing left and certainly not Christianity. For the Cross is related to our sins. Christ was our ‘stand-in’ on the stage of life. He took our guilt as if He were guilty and thus paid the debt that sin deserved, namely, death. This made our resurrection a ‘new life’ in Him. Christ therefore is not just a mere moral or wise teacher or a peasant revolutionist but He is our Saviour and Redeemer.

            With that being said, it seems as though there is a law that is written across the universe that no one gets crowned unless he or she has first struggled. No halo of merit rests suspended over those who do not fight. Whether it is the effort put in to reach the top of the corporate ladder, achieve our financial goal or whatever it is that we want, it’s not going to magically drop on our plate and the same can be said of the spiritual life.

            The only way one can ever prove love is by making an act of choice, a choice to love even in tough times for mere words are not enough. It is only those who have the possibility of choice that can be praised for their acts, which is why besides humankind being tested, even the angels had to pass through a trial (Isaiah 14:12-15; 2 Peter 2:4). It is through temptation and its strain that the depths of character are revealed as it is written, “Happy the man who remains steadfast under trial, for having passed the test, he will receive for his prize the gift of life promised to those who love God” (James 1:12)

            The temptations we go through can be broadly classified into one of three categories: they either pertain to the flesh (lust and gluttony) or the mind (pride and envy) or to the idolatrous love of things (greed). Of course, the intensity or the level of temptation can vary depending on one’s age and the nature or character of a person. For instance, good men are not tempted the same way as evil men and the Son of God, Who became man, was not tempted in the same way as even a good man. The temptations of an alcoholic to pick up the next bottle is not the same as the temptation of a saint to pride although they are, of course, no less real.

            It would seem strange to think why Our Blessed Lord would be tempted in the desert, given that He is the Son of God. However as Christian doctrine teaches us that Christ was fully human and fully divine, this was something that Satan was not aware of. He knew that Jesus was Someone special but he did not know His divinity and so based on that he tried to tempt Him. This can be clearly seen in the use of the word ‘If’ before every temptation Satan tried on Our Blessed Lord, “If you are the Son of God ………”

            If God had not taken upon Himself a human nature, He could not have been tempted. Though His Divine and human natures were united in one Person, the Divine nature was not diminished by His humanity nor was the humanity swollen out of proportion through union with His Divinity. Because He had a human nature, He could be tempted. If He were to become like us in all things, He would have to undergo the human experience of withstanding temptation. It is thus that in the letter to the Hebrews, we see how Our Blessed Lord was closely bound to us through His trials, “For ours is not a high priest unable to sympathize with our weakness, but One who, because of His likeness to us, has been tested every way, only without sin” (Hebrews 4:15)

            It is part of the discipline of God to make His loved ones perfect through trial and suffering. Only by carrying the Cross can one reach Resurrection. It was precisely this part of Our Lord’s Mission that the devil attacked. The temptations were meant to divert Our Lord from His task of salvation through sacrifice. Instead of the Cross as a means of winning the souls of men Satan suggested three shortcuts to popularity: an economic one, another based on marvels and a third, which was political. Let’s take a detailed look at each of them.

            As previously mentioned, Satan knew Our Blessed Lord was Someone special but He could not for certain say whether Jesus was God or not and that’s why in all three instances of the temptation, the word ‘if’ was used. If Satan had been sure that he was speaking to God, he would not have tried to tempt Him. Hence, seeing the human nature of God, he looks for every opportunity to bring Our Blessed Lord down in those moments where he felt that He would be the weakest.

            The German theologian Wilhelm Bousset wrote, “It is a strange temptation to try to persuade the Saviour to show Himself to be the Son of God and give proof of His power simply to satisfy the tastes and needs of the flesh. Let us understand that it is also the most powerful bait in the world: he (Satan) attacks us through the senses, he studies the disposition of our bodies and makes us fall into the trap. Such then, is the first temptation of sensuality.” Having said that, this was the same trick that was used with our first parents. Eve yielded to the bait of a fruit that was pleasant to look at, appetizing and desirable. In the wilderness, Satan had nothing like that to show to Christ’s hunger. Even then too, there are stones to be found there which look very much like loaves of bread. Satan then launches a subtle temptation, “If You are the Son of God, turn these stones into loaves of bread” (Matthew 4:3)

            By this statement we may also say that Satan wishes to perform a miracle by the agency of Jesus but a miracle inspired by himself. In itself, the miracle asked for was legitimate. Jesus did not hesitate in the course of His public life to feed 5000 people. But here’s the thing, Satan wishes to make Our Lord act as would a magician do who has a superior power at his disposal. Above all, he wants Jesus to obey him, without any consideration of the divine will. But Jesus unmasked the subtlety of Satan’s insinuation and said, “Man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4). This is to say that the will of God comes first and everything else, even bodily life itself is subordinate.

            When Jesus said, “Man does not live by bread alone but on every word of God”, the words quoted were taken from the Old Testament account of the miraculous feeding of the Jews in the desert where manna fell to them from heaven. Through these words, Our Blessed Lord was affirming that God can feed men with something greater than bread. Our Lord would not use miraculous powers to provide food for Himself, as He would not use miraculous powers later on to come down from the Cross. This was by no means in any sense implying that Our Lord was saying that food is not necessary for humankind or that social justice should not be preached. Rather it meant that there was something greater than just the mere satisfaction of one’s appetite. In other words, Jesus was saying, “You tempt Me to a religion which would relieve want; you want Me to be a baker, instead of a Saviour, to be a social reformer, instead of a Redeemer. You are tempting Me away from My Cross, suggesting that I be a cheap leader of people, filling their bellies instead of sanctifying their souls. You would have Me begin with security instead of ending with it; you would have Me bring outer abundance instead of inner holiness. You and your materialist followers say, ‘Man lives by bread alone’ but I say to you, ‘Not by bread alone’. Bread is important but remember even bread gets all its power to nourish humankind from Me. Bread without Me can harm humankind and there is no real security apart from the Word of God. If I give bread alone, then humankind would be no better than animals and dogs may as well come first to My banquet. Those who believe in Me must hold to that faith, even when they are starved and weak, even when they are imprisoned and scourged.

            I know about human hunger! I have gone without food Myself for forty days. But I refuse to become a mere social reformer who caters only to the belly. You cannot say that I am unconcerned with social justice, for I am feeling at this moment the hunger of the world. I am one with every poor, starving member of the human race. That is why I have fasted so that no one can never say that God does not know what hunger is. Be gone Satan! I am not just a social worker who has never been hungry but I am the One who says, ‘I reject any plan which promises to make a person richer without making them holier.’ Remember, I who say, ‘Not by bread alone’, have not tasted bread for forty days!”

            Having failed in his first attempt to dissuade Our Lord from His mission, Satan then takes Our Lord on a higher pinnacle and tells Him, “If You are the Son of God cast yourself down, for it is written, He shall give His angels charge concerning You and they will hold you up with their hands lest You should chance to trip on a stone!” (Matthew 4:6) This seemed like a wonderful opportunity to inaugurate a mission as a great Prophet where He, Jesus, the Son of God, lands in the midst of the priests of the sanctuary and the faithful of the Law by means of a majestic descent. In other words, it seemed like as though Satan was trying to tell Jesus, “Why do you need to die on a Cross and shed all that blood? Do you think people are going to follow You by You shedding Your Blood? I don’t think so! You would probably have more followers right now than dying on the Cross.” Later in the Gospels, we see a similar thing happening when a mob stood around Him demanding for a miracle, any miracle so that they could believe Him. However, sensing their ulterior motives, Our Lord said that no sign will be given except for the sign of Jonah. Last but not the least, when Our Blessed Lord died on the Cross, the Pharisees and the Scribes said to Him, “He saved others but He cannot save Himself” (Matthew 27:42). If He did show such signs, He would certainly have all men running after Him; but what would it profit them if sin was still in their souls?

            It looks like today many atheists and agnostics are looking for the same thing. To this Our Lord seems to say, “You repeat Satan’s temptation, whenever you admire the wonders of science thinking that it is all that there is, you forget that I am the Author of the Universe and its science. Your scientists are the proof-readers but not the authors of the Book of Nature; they can see and examine My handiwork but they cannot create one atom themselves. You would tempt Me to prove Myself omnipotent by meaningless tests; you have even pulled watches on Me and said, ‘I challenge you to strike me dead within five minutes’. Do you not know that I have mercy on fools? You tempt Me after you have willfully destroyed your own cities with bombs questioning, 'Why does God not stop this war?' You tempt Me, saying that I have no power unless I show it at your beck and call. This is, if you remember, is exactly how Satan tempted Me in the desert.

            I have never had many followers in the lofty heights of Divine truth, for instance, I have hardly the intelligentsia. I refuse to perform stunts to win people over for they would not really be won that way. It is only when I am seen on the Cross that I will draw all to Myself; it is by sacrifice and not by marvels that I must make My appeal. I must win followers not with test tubes but with My blood; not with material powers but with love; not with celestial fireworks but with the right use of reason and free will. No signs shall be given to this generation but the sign of Jonah, namely, the sign of someone rising up from below, not of someone flinging Himself down from the pinnacles.

            I want people who will believe in Me, even when I do not protect them; I will not open the prison doors where My brethren are locked; I want My missionaries and martyrs to love Me in prison and death as I love them in My suffering. I never worked any miracles to save Myself! I will work few miracles even for My saints. Begone Satan! You shall not tempt the Lord, your God.”

            As I was writing this reflection, I find this as a good pedagogical tool for parenting. I remember when I was small, when I wanted something, my parents would not give it to me even if they could afford it. The reason was to value the word “No”. Besides, this lesson has also taught me to be happy with the small things of life. One does not necessarily need designer watches, clothes, bags or any other such items to make one happy. Thanks to my parents, I have learned to be happy and content with what I have.

            God, Who is omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent, can do anything. There is nothing that is impossible for Him. Yet in all His power and glory, He chooses not to show a sign because He sees the bigger picture. So many people crib, grumble and worst of all, blaspheme against God because they don’t get what they want. As human beings, as the crown of God’s creation, we were all created to know Him, to love Him and to serve Him. God is not some kind of genie just to satisfy our wants. But He certainly gives us what we need. The only thing we need is the wisdom to understand it and that kind of wisdom comes from God alone. No wonder King Solomon was prosperous as His main interest was wisdom (1 Kings 3:5-14).

            After the first and second attempts, Satan’s patience had ran out. He then transports Christ to a high mountain, showing Him all the Kingdoms of the world and the glory of them, saying, “I will give you all these if You will fall down and worship me!” What pride in this proposal! This clearly shows the psychology of the Devil. The same thing is done today. The only difference is that the methods used and the baits vary depending on what kind of a person one may be.

            Yet, we could raise the question, were the Kingdoms of the world really delivered to Satan? Our Lord called Satan the ‘Prince of the World’, not because God had given it to him but it was through humankind’s sin. Each time we give in to the insinuations of the devil, we are giving him an upper hand over us. The more we learn to live according to God’s laws and walk along the path that He has laid out, the more we will become the person He wants us to be. In any case, even if Satan did rule the kingdom of the earth by popular consent, it was not really within his power to give them to whomever he pleased. Satan was lying in order to tempt Our Lord again from the Cross, by way of a short cut. He was offering Our Lord the world on one condition – that He worship Satan. Worship, would imply service, which is to say that in as much the Kingdom of the world was under the power of sin, the new Kingdom which Our Lord would establish must be only a continuation of the old one. This in other words implied that He could have the earth provided He promised not to change it, He could have humankind, as long as He promised not to redeem it which in essence meant the following to Our Blessed Lord, “You have come to win the world but the world is already mine; I will give it to You if You will compromise and worship me. Forget Your Cross, Your Kingdom of Heaven. If You want the world, it is at Your feet. You will be hailed with louder hosannas than Jerusalem ever sang to its kings and You will be spared the pain and sorrow of the Cross.”

            Our Lord, knowing that these kingdoms could be won only by His suffering and death said to Satan, “Begone Satan! Scripture says, ‘You shall do homage to the Lord your God and worship Him alone’” (Matthew 4:10) To Satan, these words would have meant, “Satan, you want worship; but to worship you is to serve you and to serve you is slavery. I do not want your world, so long as it bears the terrible burden of guilt. In all the kingdoms which you claim as yours, the hearts of your citizens still long for something you cannot give them, namely, peace and love. I do not want your world, which you do not even own yourself.

            I am a revolutionist too, as My Mother sang in Her ‘Magnificat’. I am in revolt against you, the prince of the world. But My revolution is not by the sword thrust outward to conquer by force but inward against sin and all the things that make war among men. I will first conquer your world by going into the hearts of your dishonest tax collectors, your false judges and I will redeem them from guilt and sin and send them back clean to their professions. I shall tell them that it profits them nothing to win the whole world if they lose their immortal souls. You may keep your kingdoms for the moment. The Kingdom of the world must be elevated to the Kingdom of God; the Kingdom of God will not be dragged down to the level of the kingdoms of the world. All I now want of this earth is a place large enough to erect a Cross; there I shall let you unfurl Me before the crossroads of your world! I shall let you nail Me in the name of the cities of Jerusalem, Athens, Rome but I will rise from the dead and you will discover that you, who seemed to conquer, have been crushed, as I march with victory on the wings of the morning! Satan, you are asking Me to become anti – Christ. Before this blasphemous request, patience must give way to just anger. So, get behind me Satan!” Our Lord came down from that mountain as poor as when He ascended it.

            Nicolas Corte once said, “The devil has no fear of learned men if they are not humble” which has indeed been one of the his most infernal trick, leading people to think or believe that he does not exist! If he did not exist, it might as well be said that all of Christ’s work would be reduced to nothing for the sole purpose of Christ coming was to undo what the devil has done.

            Today we live in a relativistic world where “Black is white and white is black” where “Loyalty is just a tattoo, love is just a quote and lying is the new truth”. Such a standpoint is dangerous! To not choose or take a stand is fatal as it is written in the book of Revelation, “Because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I am going to spit you out of my mouth!” (Revelation 3:16) The refusal to take any decision on moral issues is itself a decision. It is a silent acquiescence to evil.

            Speaking of suffering, it must also be pointed out that many people (like the apostles) who were with Our Blessed Lord also failed to understand the underlying truth – that suffering precedes glorification. A suffering God-man is a scandal. Men do not like to hear about their sins and the need for expiating them. Hence, whenever Jesus dragged in His Cross and paraded its necessity before His Apostles, they began fighting either Him or themselves. They were still obsessed with the idea that His Kingdom would be political and not spiritual. If He was going to Calvary, then it was best for them to ‘cash-in’ as quickly as possible on rewards, posts and privileges which were immediately available. The more explicit His prediction of His Cross, the more their ambitions, envies and animosities were aroused.

            The unpalatable lesson of seeming defeat was the condition for victory and yet the Apostles were slow to understand why Our Blessed Lord had to suffer. It is no wonder that Our Lord spoke openly but rarely of His Cross and Resurrection for it was something few could understand until after it came to pass and the Spirit of Christ came into His followers. So while there was indeed many times where He spoke of His death in a veiled manner, there were three occasions where he was explicit about the purpose of His coming, namely,

1)      After Peter’s affirmation of His Divinity and the conferring of the power of the keys of the Kingdom

2)      After His Transfiguration en route to Capharnaum

3)      On His last journey to Jerusalem

Let’s take a look at them a little more in detail, 

1)      Peter’s affirmation of Christ’s Divinity and the conferring of the power of the keys of the Kingdom

This incident at Caesarea Philippi involves Peter’s affirmation of Christ’s Divinity and the conferring of the power of the keys of Kingdom. To provide some context to this, there are three different types of government, namely, democratic, aristocratic and theocratic. The democratic is one in which authority and truth is decided by a vote or an arithmetical majority, the aristocratic is one in which authority is derived from a select few and the theocratic is one in which God Himself supplies and guides the revelation and the truth.

            First appealing to the democratic, He asked His Apostles what was the general popular opinion concerning Him. If there had been a poll or a vote taken basing itself on the fallible judgments of men, what would be their answer to this question, “Who do men say that the Son of Man is?” (Matthew 16:13) The inability of the men to agree among themselves concerning His Divinity was revealed when they answered, “Some say John the Baptist, others Elijah, others Jeremiah, or one of the prophets” (Matthew 16:14)

            Human opinion can give only conflicting, contrary and contradictory answers. The four popular opinions show that Our Blessed Lord enjoyed a higher reputation among His fellow men but that none of them had recognized Him for Who He truly is. Herod Antipas fancied that Our Lord was One animated by the spirit of John the Baptist while others thought He was Elijah because He had been taken upto into heaven; and others, Jeremiah, because some believed that Jeremiah was to come as the precursor to the Messiah.

            Since no Church could ever be found on a confusion of this kind, Our Blessed Lord now turned to the aristocratic form of government by asking His chosen ones, His little parliament, His apostolic band, their view, “And you, He asked, who do you say I am?” (Matthew 16:15) The appeal here was to all of them who had heard of His teachings, had seen His miracles and had even been blessed with the power of working miracles on others. This higher parliament had no answer – partly because they could not agree among themselves; in five minutes they would be quarrelling. Judas certainly doubted His financial sagacity; Philip doubted His relation with His heavenly Father; and all of them were more or less expecting some secular liberation, who would put an end to the screaming eagles of Rome in their land. Thus without solicitation or consent of the others, Peter stepped forward and gave the right and final answer, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God” (Matthew 16:16)

            What’s interesting about this whole incident is that just after proclaiming Christ as the Messiah, Peter is rebuked by Our Blessed Lord. If we read in Matthew 16:21, we find Jesus telling His disciples that He will be put to death and on the third day, He would rise again.

            Peter, being declared as the Rock, upon which the Church would be built and given the keys of the Kingdom, took Our Lord aside and said, “No Lord, this shall never happen to You” (Matthew 16:22). The Divinity of Christ, he would accept; the suffering Christ, he would not. The rock had become a stumbling stone; Peter would have a half Christ for the moment, the Divine Christ but not the Redeemer Christ. But a half Christ is no Christ at all. He would have the Christ Whose glory was announced at Bethlehem but not the One Who would be a sacrifice for sins on the Cross.

            Peter thought, if He was the Son of God, why should He suffer? Satan when tempting Jesus on the mountain top promised popularity. He did not confess the Divinity of Christ since each temptation was prefaced with the word, ‘If”, as is seen, “If You are the Son of God …..” To the credit of Peter, he did confess Christ’s Divinity. But along with this difference, there was this likeness: both Peter and Satan tempted Christ from His Cross and therefore Redemption. Not to redeem was Satan’s mind; to have the crown without the Cross was Satan’s spirit. But it was also Peter’s. Therefore, Our Lord called him Satan as can be seen in Matthew 16:23.

            In an unguarded moment Peter had let Satan in his heart, thus becoming a stumbling block on the road to Calvary. Peter thought it was unworthy of Christ to suffer but for Our Lord such thoughts were human, carnal and even Satanic. Only by Divine illumination, did Peter or anyone else know Him to be the Son of God; but it took another Divine illumination for them to realize that He is also the Redeemer. Peter would have kept Him a Teacher of humanitarian ethics but so would Satan. Peter never forgot the rebuke and years later he would go on to write, “The stone which the builders rejected has become the corner-stone” (1 Peter 2:7)

            The Cross was the reason for the coming our Blessed Lord; He made it the earmark of His followers. He did not make Christianity easy, for He implied not only must there be a voluntary renouncement of everything that hindered the likeness with Him, but also there must be the suffering, shame and death of the Cross. They did not have to blaze a trail of sacrifice themselves but merely to follow His tracks zealously as the Man of Sorrow. No disciple is called to the task that is untried. He had taken the Cross first. Only those who were willing to be crucified with Him could be saved by the merits of His death and only those who bore the Cross ever really understood Him.

            There was no question whether or not there would be sacrifice; rather it was a question of what were people ready to sacrifice, the higher or the lower life? Our Blessed Lord said, “Whoever cares for his own safety will lose it, but if a man loses his life for My sake, he will gain it” (Luke 9:24) If the physical, natural and biological life was saved for pleasure, then the higher life of the spirit would be lost but if the higher life of the spirit was chosen for salvation, then the lower or physical life had to be submitted to the Cross and self – discipline. There might be some natural virtues without a Cross but then there would never be a growth in virtue without it.

            As surprising or even strange it may seem, cross – bearing is based on exchange. Exchange implies something one can get along without and something one cannot get along without. A man can get along without a dime but he cannot get along without the bread which the dime can buy. So he exchanges one for the other. Sacrifice does not mean ‘giving – up’ something, as if there as a loss; rather it is an exchange: an exchange of lower values for higher joys. But nothing in all the world is worth the human soul as Our Blessed Lord said, “What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?” (Mark 8:39). If we read Mark 8:38, Our Blessed Lord warned against anyone being ashamed of Him or His words or denying Him in time of persecution, which is to say in order for us to experience glory, we would all have to go through the test of fire (suffering) so that in the process we may purify ourselves.

2)      The Transfiguration

It must be noted that the many miracles that Our Blessed Lord had worked between Caesarea Philippi and Capharnaum put the Apostles in a high state of excitement. Given such a situation, it would have caused them to think of themselves as an ‘elite class of individuals’, ‘the chosen ones’. But time and time again, Our Blessed Lord reminded them that He would be given into the power of men and they would kill Him and after three days, He would rise again (Mark 9:30),

            The Apostles began translating the power given to them into the hope of an earthly royalty and human sovereignty, despite the several lessons they were given about the Cross. It came to such a point that they even began to argue among themselves about who was the greatest until Our blessed Lord had to step in and explain to them that in order for one to truly enter the Kingdom of God, they need to become like children (Mark 9:30-36, Luke 9:44-48, Matthew 18:3-4). In the Kingdom of God, humility and service go hand in hand and with humility also comes obedience. 

3)      On the road to Jerusalem

According to the Father’s plan, the Cross was necessary for Him as a means of imparting life to others. The Apostles, on the other hand, until the very last moment, were looking for some manifestation of His power which would release their nation from political bondage and lift them personally to glory and dominion. They were amazed at His readiness to enter Jerusalem, which meant suffering. They were dreaming of thrones and He was thinking of a Cross.

            One clear cut example was that of James and John who asked Our Blessed Lord for a seat in the Kingdom, one at His right and the other at His left (Mark 10:37). Family influence and personal preferment gave high places in a secular kingdom; James and John, assuming that the Kingdom of God was worldly, thought that their promotion could be on that basis, to which Our Blessed Lord answered them, “Can you drink the cup that I am to drink” (Mark 10:38) which once again goes to point at suffering as a prerequisite to redemption.

            In all three instances, the common thread that we see is that suffering precedes glory and probably at a deeper level, we can also understand as to why God chose to redeem us through suffering. While no doubt, it remains a mystery given that God chose to redeem us through suffering even though He is all powerful and could have probably saved us with the blink of an eye, He chose to redeem and transform us from within.

            Think about it this way. If you were to have a lump sum of money given to you monthly without having to work for it, you would probably not respect it and it would lose its value. But when something is worked hard for and the effort is put in, not just in the financial sense but just about anything in life, generally speaking, things take on a different meaning. Likewise, instead of God choosing to just save us through easy means or if I may add spectacular means, God sent His Son to become one of us, go through the grind of living the human life with all its ups and downs and ultimately pay the price for our sins with His life by His death on the Cross. Bishop Sheen would explain this in the following words, “The purpose of His life was to pay a ransom for the liberation of the slaves of sin; this was a Divine ‘must’ that was laid upon Him when He came into the world. His death would be offered in payment for evil. If men were only in error, He might have been a Teacher fenced in by all the comforts of life; and after having taught the theory of pain, He would die on a soft bed. But then He would have left no other message than a code to obey. But if men were in sin, He would be a Redeemer and His message would be ‘Follow Me’, to share in the fruit of that Redemption (which is through suffering)”.

            G.K. Chesterton would write along similar lines as we find in his words, “No two ideals could be more opposite than a Christian saint in a Gothic cathedral and a Buddhist saint in Chinese temple. The opposition exists at every point; but perhaps the shortest statement of it is that the Buddhist saint always has his eyes shut while the Christian saint always has them wide open. The Buddhist saint has a sleek and harmonious body but his eyes are heavy and sealed with sleep. The medieval saint’s body is wasted to its crazy bones but his eyes are frightfully alive … The Buddhist is looking with a peculiar intention inwards. The Christian is staring with a frantic intentness outwards.” From these words, we can infer that the goal of prayer is not calm. It is not equanimity. The life of prayer is not about balance. It is about going all in. Allow me to explain.

            American author Barbara Holland (19:33-2010) once said in a 2007 interview with the Washington Post, “All of a sudden, we’ve got this voluntary prohibition that has to be with health and fitness. I’m not really in favour of health and fitness.” This certainly may come as a surprise or even a shock given that it has always been believed and taught that it is indeed good to be fit and healthy. Here’s Holland’s response to it, “I suppose so, but it’s largely a crapshoot. The ghost of my sainted mother hovers around, talking about how self – centered it all is. They’re always thinking about themselves – how far I ran, how much I can bench-press, how I ate three servings of broccoli. For heaven’s sake, get over yourself.”

            Self-care in our culture means eating organic food while delivering our bodies, brains and souls into the care of pharmaceutical companies who produce morning – after pills, children in a dish and morphine with which we now encourage end-of-life doctors to kills us. Balance in our culture means yoga in the morning, a visit to the therapist in the afternoon and a Klonopin at night. Although the word ‘self’-care’ can mean or involve different things to different people, there seems to be a common stereotype of the kind of life that one should aspire to in order to live ‘healthily’.

            Having said that, we are actually conditioned to expect the same worldly results from prayer, such as, balance, calm, self-satisfaction, the same king of results we try to get from eating well and exercising. There’s nothing wrong with working toward physical health; in fact, we’re called in a general way to be good stewards of our body. Yet when we look at the life of St. Leopold Mandic (1866-1942), a Croatian Capuchin friar and priest who stood around four and a half feet tall, suffering from chronic arthritis and spoke with a severe stamina, he sat in the confessional for up to sixteen hours a day, listening to people bare their souls, counselling penitents, dispensing wisdom and love. That’s not balance …… that’s love!

            He once said, “A priest must die from apostolic hardwork. There is no other death worthy of a priest.” Fr. Mandic did not sit in the confessional for up to sixteen hours a day in the hope that he’d be relieved of his chronic arthritis or of his stammer. He sat in the confessional because that was his vocation and because his deepest desire was to serve God whether or not he was in pain or whether or not he looked good in the eyes of the world. It kind of reminds me of what Bruce Lee once said, “Don’t pray for an easy life but pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.”

            Nothing more graphically illustrates this detachment from physical well – being than Christ offering Himself up, in the prime of His life, to be brutally tortured to death as He Himself said, “First clean the inside of the cup, so that the outside also may become clean” (Matthew 23:25-26) or “Do not fear those that kill the body but cannot kill the soul; rather fear Him Who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matthew 10:28)

            What the world means by ‘balance’ is straddling two worlds: having our cake and eating it too. Prayer consists in presenting ourselves, whole and entire, to receive the stupendous gift of God’s love. Prayer consists in an utter surrender to God’s will and an offering of our entire selves to His service. This is what we mean when we say, ‘going all in’, with full gusto by the grace of God as Our Blessed Lord said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind; and you shall love your neighbour as yourself” (Luke 10:27)

            The discipline of the followers of Christ consists of choosing hope over despair, forgiveness over retaliation, patience over anger, self – reflection over condemnation of others, the eternal over temporal – no matter the worldly cost. To make such choices towards life instead of death every minute of every day, over time is to establish our house on solid rock. That is how the character of the human person is built, bit by bit.

            Today it seems as though, especially in many Protestant circles, that everything is alright in Christianity as long as you love. It seems as though it has been reduced to this soft, canned, processed phenomenon where somehow everything is acceptable as long as you accept Jesus as your Lord and personal saviour. No! Our Blessed Lord came not to bring peace, a peace that the world promises but a sword, a sword that will pierce our hearts; a sword which would ignite our hearts on fire with His love (Matthew 10:34, Luke12:35). We are called to work toward our salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12), for faith without works is dead (James 2:26). Now we should keep in mind that when we say that we should work towards our salvation with ‘fear and trembling’, it does not mean that God is a tyrant. Quite the opposite! Rather it means that because God loves us so much despite all our failing and shortcomings, our motive for living everyday should strive to please Him in whatever we do as our way of showing our gratitude to Our Heavenly Father and reciprocating His love. Hence in as much as it is written in Proverbs 9:10 that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, I think, in my humble opinion, the fear is and should be rooted in love for God, for when we truly love God, we will strive to please Him in all that we do, that we would not want to displease Our Father who loves us so much just as we would not want to displease our earthly parents. That’s where wisdom comes in enabling us to act prudently; that’s when we learn to act out of conviction for what is right because it is the right thing to do and not just for a ‘reward’.

            Prayer means nothing if its fruit can’t be communicated to a person of reasonable intelligence and goodwill in a way that is completely relatable and understandable. What is our prayer for if we are not able to sit down with another human being, face – to – face and say, ‘Tell me your story?’ What is our purpose if not to make the lives of the people around us in the vale of tears a little easier to bear?

            Christianity is not a brand because Christ is not a brand. Christ is not reducible to a ten point bullet program. Love has never claimed to be effective, clean, orderly, cost effective or formulaic. The Crucifixion is not a happy ending; it is a surprise ending. The Resurrection is the biggest surprise of all. But the Resurrection is not a happy ending in the pleasure – based, self – based way that we define happiness in our culture.

            Fr. Ronald Rolheiser, drawing from the essence of the dark night of the soul, explains it in the following way in his book, “The Restless Heart”, “John of the Cross offers no painless way to enter loneliness and to come to grips with it. He is very realistic here. The inward journey involves pain, intolerable pain. According to him, once we stop trying to run away from our loneliness and stop trying to fill our thirsty caverns with counterfeit and pseudo solution, we enter, for a time, into a terrible raging pain, the pain of purgatory, the pain that is felt when we cut ourselves off from pseudo supports and take the plunge inward, into the finite mystery of ourselves, reality and God.

            Eventually this journey leads to a deep peace but in the early stages it causes intolerable pain ….. like all births, it is a journey from the secure into the unknown; like all births, it involves a certain death; and like all births too, it is very painful because it is with much groaning of the flesh that new life can be brought forth.” Through prayer, we undergo a psychic change but not a personality change. We can still be triggered by the things we’ve always been triggered by and we would probably still retain our basic temperament, affections, preferences and predispositions. Christ still bore His wounds after Resurrection (John 20:27) and so do we. And yet it is precisely through this that God chooses to work through us, with all our weakness, brokenness and frailties if we only allow Him to. The question is, are we …? Are we ready to go ‘all in’, to suffer and carry our crosses? We all have them, don’t we? God calls us to Himself at whichever stage we may find ourselves in as the French Catholic author, poet and mystic Madeleine Delbrel would explain in her book, “We, the Ordinary People of the Streets”, “There are some people whom God takes and sets apart. There are others he leaves among the crowds, people He does not ‘withdraw from the world’. There are the people who have an ordinary job, an ordinary household, or an ordinary celibacy. People with ordinary sickness and ordinary time of grieving. People with an ordinary house and ordinary clothes …. We, the ordinary people of streets, believe with all our might that this street, this world, where God has placed us, is our place of holiness. We believe that we lack nothing here that we need. If we needed something else, God would already have given it to us.”

            Nobody wants to die, literally or figuratively. But over and over again, when we do consent to die to our will, our plan and ourselves, we find that the world opens up. As we enter into the paschal mystery, remembering the passion, death and resurrection of Our Blessed Lord, let us always strive to implore the grace of Our Blessed Lord, to go all in, to carry our crosses and to suffer with Him patiently, without dread and fear and without complaining with all the struggles that life has to offer in our mundanity and through His suffering, we may escape all evil and danger both in the physical and spiritual realm now and forever. God love you! Stay blessed!