Living the fraternal spirit in priestly life

LIVING THE FRATERNAL SPIRIT IN PRIESTLY LIFE

Cl. Mario D’Couto Sdb

            Christianity is so essentially communal that a priest cannot do justice to its message without experiencing the sharing of a fraternal community. Jesus spent most of His public ministry developing the fraternity of His apostles. He knew how important it was for them to share a mutual concern. His message would be difficult to convey and only the strength of the fraternity would regenerate their tired spirits with enthusiasm and inspiration.
            The Greek philosopher Aristotle would say that the human person is a social animal and how true it is. For as a saying goes, “No person can live as an island,” deep within us there is always a void to be filled by another and that is why we are constantly dependent on one another. The famous movie, “Cast Away” beautifully portrays what loneliness can do to a person. This is also very true in the life of a priest.
            To be happy and effective in the ministry, priests need support and affirmation from fellow priests. Priests need emotional support. Priestly life is ‘livable’ only when we are assured of a priestly solidarity, which is consistently supportive and loving. Priestly life when imbued with an affirming attitude provides the healing social network that makes vocational fidelity possible.
            Eugene Kennedy’s study on Catholic priests reveals that many priests lack healthy interpersonal relationships. Many priests have few people to whom they are close, few people who have enabled them to express themselves fully. This is a real problem because relationship with people and fellow priests constitute such a substantial part of their ministry. Such priests experience difficulty and discomfort in the very area which should be a deep source of personal satisfaction.
            Fr. William Bier, an America Jesuit who has done extensive studies on priests who have left their ministry, has found  that in all those cases where priests have left their ministry, most of them have been lonely, isolated persons and had very little close relationship with other priests. Fr. Bier strongly believes that intimate relationship among priests is a great support in their vocational commitment.
            It is worth mentioning in this regard that even a person like Thomas Merton was part of the struggle. Thomas Merton, one of the great mystics and spiritual authors of modern times, went through a very serious vocational crisis at the age of 52. He was deeply involved in a love affair with a 25 year old nurse. In this moment of vocational crisis, a young priest provided him with the necessary spiritual and psychological support he needed. Although, Merton was a great scholar and a saintly person, he had the courage and humility to share his intimate problems with another priest who was much younger than himself. Thus, in their difficulties, priests should be humble enough to open up their problems to fellow priests and seek their support and guidance. Only a priest can understand another priest’s problems clearly!
            St. Gregory the Great indicates that no one should be sent out on an apostolic work until he is capable of the love for his fellow priests, “Dear brothers, our Lord sends His disciples to preach two by two. In doing so he silently indicates to us that should anyone not love his companion, he should by no means take upon himself the office of preaching.” When the friendship is based on the priestly bond, it becomes an apostolic covenant in which priests work together as friends for the salvation of others and then bring about love among the many. Many saints had close friendships with other saints as in the case of St. John of the Cross and St. Teresa of Avila, St. Francis de Sales and St. Jane Frances de Chantal, St. Catherine and Bl. Raymond and last but not the least, the nature saint, St. Francis of Assisi and St. Claire, all of whom were paradigms of good healthy friendships.
            To conclude, here are some practical guidelines about cultivating good and healthy friendships in priestly and religious life,

1.     Since many dioceses cover vast areas, it is not possible for priests to come together often. But priests from one area or from the neighbouring parishes can have occasional gatherings in which they can share parish experiences and even problems. Common meals will be helpful in fostering healthy friendships among the priests.  
2.     Common celebrations instead of private celebrations, birthdays and feast days can be arranged in common where other priests are invited. Celebrations are communal experiences of joy, a song of thanks giving. We celebrate the fact of being together, we give thanks for the gifts we have been given. Celebrations nourish us, restore hope and bring us the strength to live the frustrations and difficulties of our daily lives. 
3.     Intellectual sharing can also be another great means of promoting priestly solidarity. Often priests do not get sufficient time for personal study. Often they are not in touch with modern trends in theology, psychology and so on. To overcome the problem, priests could gather together occasionally and study and discuss current issues.

4.     Friendly corrections are an important asset in healthy friendships. Erich Fromm, who has written extensively on love and friendship, says that one of the essential elements of friendship is the responsibility for the well – being of the other. Friendship is based on mutual commitment. If friends are committed to each other, they have a responsibility to point out if one of them goes wrong. Priests are committed to each other through the bond of a common presbyterate. If a priest comes to know that the behaviour of a fellow priest is not in keeping with this vocation, he should lovingly point it out to him. Many serious problems could be avoided through timely corrections.  

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