Don't 'Go' through life, 'GROW' through life

Don’t ‘GO’ through life, ‘GROW’ through life

Mario D’Couto

            Abraham Maslow once said, “He that is good with a hammer tends to think everything is a nail.” Sometimes we drag through life thinking that there is no way out of our problems and because of our problems our lives become a routine and there is no way out. But, as William James would put it. “Our very infirmities help us unexpectedly,” learn to make your problems your allies in your personal development. If you think it is impossible, here are a few examples,

1)      John Milton wrote better poetry because he was blind.

2)      Beethoven composed better music because he was deaf.

3)      Helen Keller’s brilliant career was inspired and made possible because of her blindness and deafness.

4)   If Tchaikovsky had not been frustrated and driven almost to suicide by his tragic marriage – if his own life had not been pathetic, he probably would never have been able to compose his immortal “Symphonie Pathetique.”

5)    If Dostoevsky and Tolstoy had not led tortured lives, they would probably never have been able to write their immortal novels.

The above are just a few examples and although a lot more can be cited, the point is, what we are as human beings presents itself more fully in times of adversity than at times of ease. Anyone can be positive, polite and kind when things are going well. What distinguishes people with an extraordinary character from the rest of us is how they responded when life sends one of its inevitable curves. They don’t crumble or surrender. They reach deeply into themselves and present even more of their highest nature to the world as William Bolitho, author of “TWELVE AGAINST THE GODS”, would say, “The most important thing in life is not to capitalize your gains. Any fool can do that. The important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires intelligence and it makes the difference between a man of sense and a fool.”

Grace under pressure is what separates leaders from followers. It is that beautiful quality that inspires other and reflects on well – developed spirit. It is a trait that allows you to carve out a spectacular life – one you’ll be proud of at the end.

Problems are servants. They bring possibilities. They help you grow and lead to better things, both in your organization and in your life. Inside every problem lies a precious opportunity to improve things. Every challenge is nothing more than a chance to make things better. To avoid them is to avoid growth and progress. To resist them is to decline greatness. Embrace and get the best from the challenges in front of you. The only people with no problems are dead people.

An unhappy customer yelling at you might seem like a problem but to a person thinking like a leader., that scenario could be a giant opportunity to improve the organization’s’ processes to ensure that it doesn’t happen again and to get some feedback that may be used to enhance products and services. So, the problem has, actually, helped in improving the quality of the company.

An inter-personal conflict at work can seem like a problem. But if you think like a leader and use the situation to build understanding, promote communication and enrich the relationship, the problem has, actually, made you better. It has been fodder for your growth and served you nicely. Bless it.

Problems reveal genius. World class organizations have a culture that see problems as opportunities for improvement. Don’t condemn them – learn from them and embrace them. World – class human beings turn their wounds into wisdom. They leverage their failures to bring them closer to success. They don’t see problems. They see possibilities and that is what makes them great. Remember, a mistake is only a mistake if you make it twice.

Tied up with this idea is s statement made by Carl Jung who said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” The people or circumstances that take you out of your power have extraordinary value. They reveal your limiting beliefs, fears and false assumptions. The things that irritate, annoy and anger you are entry points into your evolution and elevation as a human being. They are signposts for what you need to work on and the fears you need to face. They are gifts of growth.

There is a nice quote from Kahil Gibran which seems apt to cite with the given topic in discussion. This is what he writes, “I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am grateful to those teachers.” As you begin to shed light on your personal weaknesses and take responsibility for them, you begin the very process of shedding them. Shadows exposed to the light begin to disappear. You become stronger; more powerful; more of who you were meant to be. You begin to see the world through a different set of eyes.

Great achievements often happen when our backs are up against the wall. Pressure can enhance your performance. Your power most fully exerts itself when the heat is on. Who you truly are surfaces only when you place yourself in a position of discomfort and you begin to feel like you’re out on the skinny branch. Challenge serves beautifully to introduce you to your best and most brilliant self. Please stop and think about that idea for a second or two. Easy times don’t make you better. They make you slower and more complacent and sleepy. Staying in the safety zone and coasting through life never made anyone big. Sure, it’s very human to take the path of least resistance. And it is quite normal to want to avoid putting stress on yourself to shine. But greatness never came to anyone normal. Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Edison and others marched to a different drumbeat.

Hence, just as diamonds are formed through intense pressure, the best ‘YOU’ comes out when faced with difficulties. Learn to appreciate it for what it is. Let’s not forget the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. who said, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands n moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”