Self - Pity as a vice

SELF – PITY AS A VICE

Cl. Mario D’Couto SDB

            “Poor me!” Have you not heard some people say that? They either sulk or brood over the circumstances that befall them. They keep pitying themselves and grumble over the slightest negative thing that happens.

            Self – pity is indeed a vice. And why is it so? If we are all the time focusing on our negativity, then even the little good that is present within us may go away.

            We need to focus on what is good because our minds are just like a radio transmitter which is able to pick up and give out signals. The more we think positively the more our minds will be at peace; the more we think negatively then we only have to face the consequences for our thoughts. Hence, the next question that arises is how does one focus on something positive amidst the negative circumstances that she or he is going through?

            Trying to evade all negative circumstances is like building castles in the air. What we need to do is to try to work through the negative circumstances that come our way. One way of achieving this is to think of something different when one is going through a rough time, especially something positive.

            We need to concentrate and give more attention to those things that are good, rather than being preoccupied with all that is negative. Here are few examples where people have focused on their strengths rather than their weakness,

1.     Stricken with deafness, Beethoven tried to recapture in music a world of sounds he would never hear again. Because of his reaction to his affliction, he produced some of his greatest symphonies.
2.     Lord Byron, club-footed, ad to prove himself superior at something. He produced some of our finest romantic poetry.
3.     Alexander Pope, 4 feet six inches high, deformed and hunchbacked, wrote some of the greatest poems of the 18th century.
4.     Isaac Newton, the great scientist, was beaten up by a bully when he was a schoolboy. Till then he was an ordinary student. Afterwards, deciding that he was never going to excel with his fists, he concentrated on using his gray matter.

            From all this, we see how greatness can spring forth from feelings of inferiority when properly channeled. Having mentioned that, we can further deduce the following points,

1.     Self – Acceptance! Self – acceptance is absolutely necessary as a prelude to emotional maturity. Don’t try to be someone else. You yourself are someone very special. You can be proud and humble at the same time. All that is good in you stems from God. If you reject yourself, you are really rejecting God.
2.     Know yourself! Knowing yourself does not necessarily mean being introspective. Sometimes it means trying yourself out. Often learning to know yourself means learning to do things you never dreamed you could.
3.     Love yourself! Many pious people seem to think it is an affront to God to love themselves. Yet, the Bible says, “Love your neighbour as you love yourself.” it is important to take note of this particular phrase, “Love yourself”, since unless if one learns to love himself or herself, only then will he or she be able to love someone else, for as it is rightly said, “No person can give that thing which he does not have.”


            Thus, all in all, it is important to accept your own imperfections; try to improve when you can, but do not brood about your faults. 

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